The Things I Watch and Why
From Miyazaki to Del Toro to Guerra - The Films that read as Bibles
So for those of you that don’t know me well, I am a film obsessive. I watch movies like other people scroll on social media.
However, I don’t watch everything. I get called to watch certain things and I watch them multiple times. Some movies I love I’ve watched upwards of 10 times. In the scheme of time in a day and time in life to watch stuff that is a lot when you think about it.
There are movies that have been faithful companions to me in times of deep despair or confusion. Movies that bring me back to what matters. Movies that help me move my heart when I’ve been stuck. Movies that have been my friends when I had none. These are, at the core, beautiful stories. And stories have been how humans explore existence for as long as we know. (cave paintings, etc)
So when I watch films I tend to really explore them for awhile afterwards. Sitting with the story and how the story is told and all the elements that come together to make it either well done or poorly done.
Sometimes a film warrants an immediate second viewing, in which I usually focus less on the story and more on HOW the story is told. I want to soak in what elements hit where. If a movie is REALLY good it will make me want to enter it’s world again and again.
For instance, I think I’ve watched Howl’s Moving Castle by Hayao Miyazaki at least 10 times in my life already (I’m 36 now, I was introduced to it when I was 15 so probably about once a year at least). Whenever I return to that movie it reminds me of the power of love and generosity, the horrors of ego and war, and how a chosen family can fortify us during the most harrowing and hopeless of challenges. I finish that film and remember things that lift my spirits and return me to my heart. I can tell you that I watch this movie usually when I’m sick, sad, or overwhelmed.
The original score by Joe Hisaishi, the beauty of Miyazaki’s handmade animation, the story that comes from a heart that knows both love and the absence of love - there are so many deeply intentional elements that make this film an experience rather than just entertainment.
At their best, an auteur will make films that touch us like spiritual texts. They will show us the truths of humanity and also the potential for the human spirit as a conduit for unconditional universal love. At their best, good films will connect us to something larger than our individual egos so that we can become more intimate with some universal human experience.
I’m thinking of The Shape of Water by Guillermo Del Toro. A woman who cannot speak and is a “lowly” janitor in the view of the world she exists in finds love in a creature that is captured and abused by the establishment she works for. There is a connection between them that goes beyond what is socially acceptable and it takes great courage, mostly on the woman’s part, to advocate for it. It’s the power of love that helps them overcome all obstacles. In the end both the woman and the creature are liberated from their literal, psychological, and social bondage through the power of love. There’s all sorts of other commentary around toxic masculinity, racism, etc but at it’s core it’s a story of the rights of everyone to their own freedom and how love cannot ultimately be oppressed by egoic control. Love will win out.
You can say that these stories are simply made up, they are idealistic, they didn’t really happen so how can we rely on them as guidance?
But I would say what does it matter if they happened or not? The human mind is capable of great creativity. It can create heaven or hell with enough belief. And it is always making up stories. All day long it’s telling itself stories. Stories of why it should be afraid, why it should grasp for control, why it’s bad or good or why others are bad or good, stories are being created all day long. So why not fill the mind with beautiful stories that connect us to the earth and the cosmos? Why not fill the mind of beautiful art that makes us feel closer to the heart of existence?
I’m thinking of a film I saw some years ago called Embrace of the Serpent by Ciro Guerra. It was at once a scathing indictment of colonial imperialism and a powerful plea for us to turn to our own ancestral roots to find our place in the cosmos. It chronicles the journeys (many years apart) of both german and american scientists who visit the amazon in search of the plant “yakruna” which I think is ayahuasca. These two men are desperately lost both literally and psychicly and looking for healing both physically and spiritually. An amazonian shaman becomes their guide and helps them search for what they are missing (in all the ways you can interpret that). The one scene that gets me everytime is when the shaman speaks of how these men forgot their stories. It’s in cutting away our history, where we came from, that we start to become detached from our belonging on planet earth.
This film reminds me so much of how lost I was in my younger years. Wanting to run away from myself, my life, my past - because of the pain and shame I didn’t want to face. Looking everywhere but inside myself for the healing I desperately needed. And how no matter how many plant medicine ceremonies I did or relationships I clung to, there was nothing that could bring me the relief I craved except going deeply inside myself. Going so deep within me that I could finally feel my connection to all of creation and therefore find my value.
That is a story as old as time, and one you could say lies in every spiritual text ever written. But there it was in a movie - not just a story but an experience. Watching that film is like sitting in a plant medicine ceremony. It’s a meditation. It’s a ritual.
Films have this power to take us on a journey, because they enrapture our senses. And the best filmmakers use that power to take us on a journey back to ourselves.
PS- films I watched recently I recommend: Fire of Love (from 2022) - which is a beautiful documentary with absolutely INCREDIBLE footage shot by and of this couple Maurice and Katia Kraft who were volcanologists and did some incredible work to help us understand volcanoes and also persuade governments to do more to evacuate danger zones. Frankenstein - another epic take on a classic tale from Guillermo Del Toro that encapsulates the spirit and heart of that story with incredible artistic direction. One Battle After Another - a very weird, very funny, and interesting commentary on our current socio-political climate based on a book called Vineland from the 80s. Paul Thomas Anderson writes and directs.
What films have deeply touched and influenced you? I’m really interested. I’m always up for film talk so comment and lmk.
still from Howl’s Moving Castle by Hayao Miyazaki
still from The Shape of Water by Guillermo Del Toro
still from Embrace of the Serpent by Ciro Guerra